The 3%: Training, If You Want to Call it That

Militia training events have always been an odd mix of comedy and frustration for me.  Both which come from the utter stupidity that takes place during such training.  One could even say that these events often referred to as Field Training Exercises (FTX for short) aren't even training but more of an excuse to go out into the woods, shoot guns and feel like a bad ass.  Everything that will be shown here is from one such exercise conducted by the 3% Security Force (they happen to be everything I dislike about 3%ers all in one organization so it makes things easier for me).  Everything from bad training, safety violations and just stupidity shall be seen.

We all know at this point that bureaucracy leads to incompetence.  This is obvious in the very beginning of the training.  Yes, the first stage was quick draw training.  No pistol basics, no drills that would be more practical but instead this.  Shockingly nobody shot themselves though there were some close calls seeing how the drill started with their hands on the target.  Everyone had horrible technique and it was obvious that guys were trying to do it super fast in order to look like some kind of bad ass operator.

Remember I said safety violations?  Well this turd not only fired 4 shots when the stage only required 3, 1 such round went into the dirt.  That bullet almost went into his foot as he pulled the trigger while struggling to draw the pistol from one of those shitty nylon drop leg holsters.  It's kind hard to see here but, in removing his magazine the shooter also flags himself.  You can't do a drill that's rather advance when you have shooters who constantly point their own guns at themselves.

Then again flagging each other doesn't seem to be all that unheard of when it comes to these clowns because pretty much all of them did it before hand.

After the horrific pistol training they moved to rifle.  Here was just some basic shooting and movement using concealment.  They say cover but nothing they use should be considered cover.  Nothing is also what any of these guys hit.  the main reason for this is because none of them have zeroed their rifles.  The other reason and this is just a theory of mine is that none of them (including instructor douche here) understand the concept of height over bore.  For the uninitiated (if you don't know what I'm talking about......REALLY???) meaning their point of impact is different from their point of aim due to range.  Also it's more of a pet peeve for me I'll admit but, I really hate when people put hunting and long range scopes an AR15's.  It's really an impractical optic given your limitations on range.  It also shows a lack of weapon knowledge in my opinion.  The only optics most of these people know are hunting scopes so it's understandable but annoying as shit.

Yes, I shit you not they went through a whole rifle exercise before thinking that they should zero their rifles first.  Not that it really matters since most of these people use cheap, piece of shit optics that are found at Walmart, Cheaper Than Dirt catalogs and most likely the glass case at their local gun shop.

Next came some "patrol" training.  They were given a very basic scenario to fight off raiders to their encampment, given an exact description of the location of the threat and sent off like a conventional fighting force.  First of all, you're a fucking militia (I think we've covered this issue before) why the fuck aren't you learning to set the traps and the ambushes?  It probably has to due with the fact that there are no war on terror vets in your ranks.  Therefore, you have absolutely no understanding of 4th Generation Warfare and its tactics.  I also have to add that pictured above is Chris Hill aka General Holy War or Blood Agent.  This is the founder and self proclaimed General of the 3% Security Force who also claims to be a former Marine.  Say this because well, if you look closely you can see his camelback is underneath his plate carrier.  He also has no plates in his carrier.  Take that information as you will.

On the same "patrol" they received a casualty due to a "tripwire" set by the simulated attackers (again why are you not the ones setting the traps?).  First, their medic who was not in the patrol shows up in a gator after being called in.  She then waddles (yes waddles) her ass over completely oblivious to what's going on.  She then struggles to put on the most busted ass bullshit tourniquet I've ever seen.  Also you got like 6 people clumped together, an easy target for any 9 year old with a rusty AK.

Oh and watch out as they evacuate their casualty by driving in front of their line of fire.  Like literally 3/4 of the patrol has this gator directly in front of them.

Remember those tripwires? Yeah well, they just walk over them and don't do shit like defuse them or simply cut the fucking wire.

Then again, if they get in a firefight I guess they be doing accuracy by volume.

One of the more comedic eccentricities of 3%ers is that there is always something selling something.  I'll give it to this guy though, he's selling handmade leather holsters.  While rather hokey looking and totally not conducive to their needs, it's still something that the guy put serious amounts of effort to.  Most guys in my experience are just Condor salesmen.  I'm not sure if I've ever got into here but, I FUCKING HATE CONDOR!!!  It's cheap, shitty gear and everyone wears it like it's the best thing ever.  It's not so stop fucking buying it.

The sad reality he is that for most people, these FTX's are just a means of getting out of the house and playing at being an operator.  One of the most notorious examples of such sentiment is the need to take millions of photos and selfies throwing up the 3%er gang sign.  Not only is it the dumbest shit ever (which I've lost count how many times I've endured) they're also dealing with a bit of an image issue and while yes it is a point of pride but, the optics (yes they fucking matter) will not be in your favor.

I will admit, these people are doing more than most.  I mean some training is better than no training.  However, this mess needs to be improved.  As I'm writing this article I feel like it's a bit disjointed.  That would probably be the best way to explain this training, disjointed.  What makes this all worse is that these fools will most likely have the run of the place in a Boogaloo or SHTF scenario.  That is of course unless the Hawaiian Shirt, Adidas Track Suit or Drug Rug crew have anything to say about it.

And what the FUCK is this shit?!?!?!?!?!?

Below are the actual videos because you really need to see all this shit for yourselves

Boogaloo of Thrones

We all love talking about the Boogaloo.  Some of us also at some point enjoyed the cultural sensation that was the show Game of Thrones.  With a more nuanced perspective, one could even begin to draw comparisons to both worlds.  In the event of a Boogaloo, the economy and government as a whole could collapse.  Such a collapse would lead to private citizens gaining power based on their own skills and geographic locations.  Similar to the families in the world of Westeros on Game of Thrones.  Now, this is just a theory and it would require a lot of events to happen but, this would could definitely become our own.

One such family that would definitely see would be families that could be compared to the Tyrell's.  On Thrones, the Tyrell were lords of a region called the Reach.  An area of rich farmland that provided the majority of the country with food.  This made the Tyrell's one of the richest and arguably most influential families in all of Westeros.  In our world, such families or groups in an area with rich farmland capable of  producing large quantities of food would become our world's Tyrell's.  In a post-collapse world, food will become a far more precious and scarce commodity.  This would cause those capable of producing food to gain large amounts of wealth and influence within a region or the country as a whole.

The Lannister's, are some of the wealthiest families in all of Westeros.  They are also some of the most cunning and ambitious as well.  The reason for that immense wealth is because in the world of Game of Thrones, the Lannister's sit on large deposits of silver and gold that they mine.  In our world, this translates to those who would be sitting of vast mineral deposits that they would be able to mine.  Precious metals and rare earth elements would still be of some value after a collapse, gaining these people wealth.  In a similar vain, those who are sharp minded and ambitious would also draw comparisons to the Lannister's.  I mean they are the ones that orchestrated the Red Wedding.

Nobody in Westeros likes the Frey's.  Their most notable trait is that they are scumbags.  Also that their home, The Twins, includes a large bridge that needs to be crossed to get from The North to the rest of the kingdom.  In our world there would be similar bridge keepers that would charge tolls to enable travel.  While such people would definitely gain power in our world, most would think they are giant assholes.  Which is fitting because in Game of Thrones, everyone thinks the Frey's are assholes.

While the Greyjoy's are given little acknowledgement beyond being raiders and pillagers for most of Game of Thrones, they eventual regain the acknowledgment of having the most powerful navy in all of Westeros.  In our world there would be such sea fairing people.  People with boats would obvious have the power over any body of water they are in.  They would be in control of all commerce, travel and even warfare upon the water.  Even in our world naval power is often still considered a measure of a nations overall power.  If a groups is in control of the water, they would theoretically have great amounts of control over the coast and inland areas near rivers.

Now not all families in Westeros are considered regional powers.  Houses like the Tarly's are known for their abilities as hunters and soldiers.  Such groups would be sought after by the greater houses to provide various services.  Groups that would be like House Tarly would most likely pledge allegiance to a greater house and provide them their specialized service.  Like in Game of Thrones they would be considered Banner-men and serve whenever called upon.

Another one of these Banner-men, though one that few would be willing to ever admit to having in their employ would be those of the likes of House Bolton.  The Bolton's have been deemed by most the be the most sadistic.  That is because they have been known to flay people alive.  In a Boogaloo situation, there would definitely a criminal element taking advantage of the fact that there is no central government.  It's likely these people would be employed to go after others while Banner-men such as those like the Tarly's would be employed to protect.

Now what about such Goons of the Boogaloo and Milita type people?  What would they be?  Most likely given they Anarchist nature of Goons, the easiest comparison would be that of Free Folk or Wildlings.  People live beyond the wall and are not ruled by anyone.  For the other of Westeros, they would pledged their loyalty or service to others.  Often referred to as "Bending The Knee"  The Wildlings on the other hand respond with "We Do Not Kneel".   People think they're outlaws and raiders.  In reality, they just want to left the fuck alone.

On the other hand, you do have the militias like the 3%ers and other dumb shits.  Usually they are very religious types and are all for protecting the common people.  In Game of Thrones, such a group was know as the Brotherhood Without Banners.  A group of former knights and soldiers who instead of fighting the wars of the nobility, decided to fight to defend the common people.   They also worship the Lord of Light, a relatively new religion in the world of Westeros but, is a large influence on the story. While I like to rip on 3%ers this could also be Goons and other veterans fighting to defend the liberty of others.  You don't need a state for there to be power and tyranny.

The universe of Game of Thrones and vast and often convoluted.  Especially for those who are uninitiated by the show or book series.  Not all of these comparisons might be valid but this just a working theory that I've been working on for a while.  Mainly because I got the show on loop as I write most of the time.  While I am unsure that a world like Game of Thrones will come after the Boogaloo, I would definitely say that it is possible.  I mean it did take 6 fucking seasons for Winter to show up but it did right?

BTW, special thanks to Matt from The Statist Quo and Luke from Biting The Bullet for this article.  Matt to help me make sure this made sense for people who never watched the show or read the books.  Luke to make sure this actually made sense when comparing it to our world.

Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds

Happy New Year everyone.  I hope y'all having fun this New Years Eve.  I know I am.  That's because I'm hanging out with my friend Lucy.  Now, Lucy is fun to hang out with but I haven't done so in almost a year.  Hopefully tonight is just as good.

1715

Lucy just showed up.  I'll admit I'm kinda nervous.  She has a kinda rocky reputation with some people.  Everyone I know hasn't had a problem with her so things should go well hopefully.

1830

I'm feeling a little sick yet relaxed at the same time.  Just ate dinner and relaxing.  However, roommate is a douche and a stoner so he wants cinnamon buns.  Hopefully I don't hurt myself in the process.  Lucy has a way with making normal tasks difficult.

1900

Lucy has me super fucking relaxed right now.  I was walking and I just felt my body sinking.  As I sit on the couch, I feel like I'm gonna fall right into it and melt.

2200

Okay, now I'm pissed.  In case I didn't make it painfully obvious for everyone, I dropped acid tonight.  Not one tab but four.  Yes, four tabs of acid.  Beyond just a nice body high I don't feel shit.  I don't see shit.  Now funny colors, no wiggly shit, no illusions, NOTHING!!!  I keep asking my roommate where he got this shit but he refuses to tell me.  I guess he wants to do all the pistol whipping himself.  I seriously don't believe this bullshit.

0015

Well Happy New Year I guess.  My boy Ed just showed up so now I guess we'll start drinking.  We also decided to watch a bunch of YouTube videos of the 3% Security Force.  It was like Mystery Science Theater but "patriot" training videos.  It was a whole lot of cringe but enjoyable regardless.

0400

Well no more Ed but it's time to call it a night regardless.  Still livid that this acid didn't do shit.  The body high was nice and all but that's not why I dropped four fucking tabs.  I wanted to see some trippy shit.  Roommate is hunched over constantly on the verge of passing out.  I tossed his ass in his room and threw him a bucket.  Dog puke in enough of a pain in the ass to clean don't really feel like dealing with that shit.

0500

Time to get some sleep.  Only one little problem.  Every time I close my eyes I start seeing some weird shit.  Of course, right when I try to sleep my mind turns into H.R. Giger's nightmare.  That's the guy who designed the Xenomorph from Alien for the non nerds in the room.  I guess that's what you get for dropping four tabs of bad acid.

Well that was my New Years.  Naturally I expected this article to be a lot more interesting but this is what happened.  At least nobody died which is good.  However, I really hoped I would have been able to tell you more about my awesome friend Lucy,  Unfortunately, she decided the rather be an uninteresting, blue balling cunt.